My Mistress is writing about male chastity as part of her Masters course. So there has been a lot of focus on this subject. Obviously Eliza is studying this in an academic form whereas I'm talking to/reading about others experiences just so I can relate to how I feel. Thus far this has proved fruitless. I have a very good friend in the scene who's been into chastity for a long time, another of Eliza's subs is also on his new journey of chastity which is very different path to mine. I regularly chat on Twitter to 3 other guys in chastity. Every single one of us has a different viewpoint on why we do it and how it makes us feel and the ethos behind it.
Chastity in any form is a giant leap forward for me; sure I fantasised about it but I never thought it would ever go beyond a kinky day in a chastity device. So obviously it's been on the back burner of my mind for some time but as I say I never had any intentions of stepping into any form of commitment.
Sometime ago I had a session with a Domme that I intermittently visited. After one session she stated that she'd noticed I wasn't really into it that day. She was right and I said I just wasn't in the right frame of mind compared with how I was when I booked the appointment. I told a friend of mine about this dilemma as it wasn't the first time this had happened to me, he suggested that I should do a seven day spell of abstinence prior to any session. He was right and since then Ive always done that and it does ensure a good mindset. So when I arrived on Eliza's doorstep I did at least know what a spell of chastity felt like.
After a few months of giving Eliza my total submissive loyalty I started to feel more and more like I wanted to commit my Chastity to her. It fitted neatly with other aspects of my submissiveness too. It fitted in with the obedience angle which is really important to me as a submissive. I like rules when serving so chastity seemed ideal. The only problem of course was I thought I couldn't do it. I thought I couldn't break my masturbation habit. Also as I read more there were angles attached to chastity I hated. It's seemed to be linked to cuckoldery which I hate. It is also was linked heavily with denial. I didn't like that either as it fitted into humiliation, so I thought it wasn't for me. So again I turned to my friend. I life long fan of very long term chastity. We are very different. He talked a lot about various angles of chastity I hadn't thought of. So I asked Eliza if we could gently go down this road.
Now this is where the hardcore amongst you will say "you're not in chastity son, you just have a masturbation schedule". I concede to that point too. You maybe right but it feels like chastity to me and anyway I love the word 'chastity; CHASTITY. So initially Eliza put me on a 1 in 3 schedule. This simply meant I masturbate to orgasm every third day. After doing this for a few weeks I had an edging accident and orgasmed accidentally on a chastity day. After that Eliza put me on a no touch rule. I'm only permitted to touch myself for washing and the obvious.
After a few weeks I told Eliza I was loving this commitment and finding it easy and so she put it up to 1 in 4. At the time of writing this I'm now on 1 in 5 but for various reasons I haven't settled into the rhythm of 1 in 5 yet. I still have to give 7 days prior to reporting to her. A chastity device has just crept into my commitment but that's so new and I'll blog about chastity devices at a future date.
So what is it that I like so much about my chastity commitment, why do I find it such a positive experience? Well first of all it's lovely having Eliza as the sole focus of my sexuality. I love the fact that I feel like I'm honouring her. Suffering for her. Making her so important that I'm prepared to let my most basic male instinct suffer. That's submission personified to me. I love feeling like I'm obeying an instruction. My orgasms are now outstanding. They're deep and meaningful, Its made me a cleaner as a person too, I used to waste so much time on porn. Masturbating twice a day at least. Now I watch no porn at all. I only ever have Mistress in mind when exercising my sexuality and I enjoy how good I feel with the success.
I love the feeling inside of me too. As chastity takes its grip I experience this feeling that starts in my groin and moves to my stomach, it's a warm lovely feeling like a hug from inside. It's a constant too, it's always there despite my mood or mindset.
On masturbation days I can only masturbate once and I started to notice something after a few cycles. You're never really fully drained unlike the days of habitual masturbation. Only hours after my single orgasm I arrive back in the same place that 2 days of abstinence used to feel like. I liken it to the game 'snakes and ladders'. Before chastity I would get to about square 8 then masturbate and come back down to square 1 but with chastity you reach square 100 and after masturbation only drop to about square 80. Nowhere near that drained feeling of square 1. So you're back in the chastity mindset very quickly. Very much putting paid to the theory that to get a male to focus he must be permanently denied as advocated in a book I recently read.
It's clear from all above I'm enjoying my small chastity regime. I know, purely because I know how Mistress works that I'll be tested further in the future. I've no idea where we will end up at but what I know for certain with Eliza is It'll never go backwards.
There are of course some negatives. Desire is a strong feeling. I often feel good when I've exited the other side of extreme desire still chaste but sometimes I really do wish I could have an orgasm. My mind will be pure with only Ma'am in my focus but still I can't. Still I have to remain chaste until my day. On the flip side is that on more than a handful of occasions I've arrived at masturbation day with a very low labido and really not had any desire to orgasm.
All of us who express our submissiveness through a Pro-Domme and give that person total loyalty have to accept that whilst our Dominant is the sole focus of our submission we are only a tiny part of their dominance. It's a situation most of us are comfortable with. Chastity as I've already mentioned incredibly heightens ones focus towards ones Domme, I find that lovely but if you're a sub that struggles in this area then you'll need to be mindful in my opinion when entering into chastity of any form.
Chastity, like my last blog post regarding anal play transcends BDSM. I can see the greatest value of male chastity being in a 'normal' relationship. I can see it being great fun. I love the fact that so many men are willing to go into chastity, it's one in the eye for those that advocate ALL men are cheating faithless bastards.
I'll elaborate now on a couple of the angles that are associated with chastity that don't appeal to me. I hate the idea of cuckoldery, I don't like humiliation at all. I'm not a useless male. I'm a good quality submissive and it's an absolute no go area for me. I don't see the point in denial either in my head. I'm saving myself for my Mistress, where is the carrot of obedience if you're to be denied. Don't get me wrong here. If you like denial then great, go for it. My mates both real time and Twitter seem to love it and I'm aware that as a chaste sub I'm on the fringe here. Oddly I'm not so anti the theory of ruined orgasm or milking but as part of punishment, not just for the sake of it. I don't really understand long term chastity, only this morning my friend told me has now got a further year bolted on to the 5 months he's just endured. No thanks, not for me. He's mad, but happy and mad. I've also heard of a sub who is way over the 800 day mark now. I don't know this guy but good luck to you fella. I would have had 160 orgasms in that time. Although to be fair to me pre chastity I would have had about 1600. Shit; that statistic has just scared me.
I also see a side to chastity that I know most chaste subs would take me to task for. I know a lot of guys talk about chastity emasculating them. I see it as the opposite. I think it enhances my masculinity. Instead of being the stupid little selfish boy just chucking sperm out of my body any time I fancy I've become disciplined, in tune with my body and feelings and treasuring orgasms for the wonderful experience they are. That probably just shows I've no real concept of what masculinity is; or as some of you are thinking, what chastity is. I've also learned to enjoy erections rather than seeing them as frustrating due to chastity. I'm not allowed to touch and in the mornings I often just lay there appreciating the feeling of erection and how it makes me feel. In the past it was just viewed the necessary state to aimlessly 'knock one out'. I really don't want a return to that.
So it would seem I'm enjoying this chastity. My friend says as I get deeper into it (longer spells) I'll enjoy it more. I'm not so sure. I think there might be a point where I cease to find it fulfilling and I think that point will be when that warm hugging feeling I get goes away. However that's not yet, so how far down the line will it be?
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